I Realized & Believed ..

It's funny what they say .. Time is a fickle thing it never stays the same .. Everything changes before we really settle into how OUR LIVES should be & then could be .. I have found this out over this year thanks to the All-American Rejects & being my new muse for the moment .. Realizing that LIFE will never be the same again & realizing that perhaps yes working in a daycare and or being a teacher isn't really after all meant for me. Realizing that deep down where my passion in LIFE really lay are actually with MUSIC & the ARTS including drawing, photography at concerts and of bands, and also working on video projects is where my HEART will always lay .. I realized that SUMMER has truly also come and passed & the innocent can never  LAST .. I realized that a total year can fly past in a instant of a moment before you really knew that it even did .. I realized that yeah even my best friends are moving forward to better things it seems with out me .. I realized it seems no matter what job I do in general also that I am always stuck it seems with the BOSS from HELL as well .. & I realized that I am going to be a AUNT again sooner then I thought .. I also realized that my next new AAR concert is indeed now just 11 days away as well with the bands THE READY SET & also BOYS LIKE GIRLS .. I also realized that while others are falling in LOVE so quickly and all & also ending things just as quick I am always the person who takes things slower and analyzing things before always stepping my foot in the dating scenes .. I realized that if anything I am also ready to try to gain some help from the show READY FOR LOVE as well once I believed that that LOVE door hit me over this past year. I believed that things would happen the way it was meant to be & happened from the fates of the GODS up above .. I believed that things happen for a REASON while the NOW time never told us why but had us FIGURE it out later down the road .. I believed that there was 1 some one for each of us out there just some where waiting to be found .. I believed that MUSIC was the soul of who we PEOPLE are deep down to help guide us to become more then we can be.  I believed alot .. Now that things in my eyes have changed for the WORLD & LIFE that I knew is differed on a new PATH which I forsakenly never saw before in the visions I saw myself to have .. For in which where I would be NOW about 10 years ago .. when I was in HS and then when I was in college .. If I had only known back then that I shouldn't had taken all those education classes then I wouldn't have wasted all those years with those courses & could have actually back then followed where My heart lays now for the things I am truly passionate in. I possibly could have been BIG today then & totally been happier then all my BLISS could contain for JOY ... 

If only I could have done things differently would I had made the same choices & decisions that I did back then NOW ?? 

These things and thoughts have been taking over my MIND over the past few weeks & days after dealing with the BOSS from HELL at my job .. & these thoughts have had me debating and afraid of where I will be from some many more years from NOW .. where and what will I be doing then? .. will I be MARRIED? will I be FAMOUS? .. will I be HAPPY? .. and will I be doing something by that POINT that will have me SMILING all the TIME? .. and will I not be afraid then to STAND UP for my beliefs and STOP being that DOORMAT that I know I am on occasion:? .. I wonder if I get MARRIED one day to who it may be & how I will MEET them .. I wonder will the person be a BIG NAMED musician like my DREAMS keep pointing too & also where my HEART keeps telling me to do as well .. 

Anyway I suppose I should be heading out now but will be writing on here again very soon before my AAR Show on the 23rd. 

Love Always,

Joanna <3